RAISED ON PROMISES:  As of the moment I'm writing this, it is unclear if Tom Petty has passed away or is in the most critical of conditions; regardless, it feels like a moment to slide the keys back into the blog-ignition in case anyone has something to say worth more than 140 characters.

I will say that after the 2015 revelation regarding Petty's past heroin addiction, I assumed he'd die younger than most, but still never quite this soon. Shit. Craig, remember this concert senior year?

THE BATTLE FOR THE HULK HANDS:  We have one vacancy in the ALOTT5MA FFL, now entering its 9th season.  Drafting Monday night at 9pm EDT, 12-team auction format, non-PPR.  If you're interested, holler.

GET ON YOUR FEET ALL NIGHT LONG:  It was only six years ago when I started lamenting about the virtual absence of Latino winners of the Kennedy Center Honors for Outstanding Lifetime Achievement in the Field of Excellence, asking "Do we need to wait 20-30 years for Gloria Estefan and John Leguizamo to win?"

So it's nice to note that Gloria Estefan is indeed one of this year's honorees, along with Lionel Richie, LL Cool J, dancer Carmen de Lavallade, and holy shit how the hell has Norman Lear not won this before?

LL is the first hip-hop artist to be so honored -- I think that gives a lot of weight to his acting/hosting endeavors, because I can't otherwise conceive of a reason for his going in before Run-DMC.  (Oh, wait: his show's on CBS. Nevermind.)

As for Lear: holy fucking shit, what were they waiting for?  

DID YOU ORDER THE CODE RED?  Apparently, NBC is still planning A Few Good Men: Live!, and Alec Baldwin will play Col. Jessup.

BOOM SHAKALAKA!:This oral history of NBA Jam is ON FIRE!

I CAN READ, TOO, I JUST DON'T NEED TO BRAG ABOUT IT LIKE STING DOES:  If Ozzy Osbourne wants to list his Top Ten Metal Albums, I am going to listen.

WHAT'S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY? A glorious rant against waiting at restaurants for brunch:

What the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah you, the person waiting in line at a breakfast restaurant. 

You got nothing better to do at 9am on a Saturday morning? Wait in line for 45 minutes to eat a pancake? It’s a God damn mother fucking PANCAKE. You got nothing going on? Life is that easy you can wait in line for a pancake?...